Career Jokes

This week’s joke theme is jobs, so here are some career jokes for you.  Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity…

 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest

I heard that a sacked dodgem supervisor take his former employer to court as he was claiming Funfair Dismissal…

Had to give up my job at the dress alteration company. Apparently I didn’t turn up enough.

A friend of mine got a job as a judge for a mime talent contest. It’s the quiet ones you’ve got to watch.

Went for a job as a blacksmith. Chap asked me if I had ever shoed a horse. I said “no, but I’ve told a donkey to go away”.

I made a name for myself whilst working in the Deed Poll office.

A friend got fired from his job at a calendar factory. All he did was take a day off …

Really pleased to hear a friend has finally got a job, making periscopes. Glad that things are looking up…

One guy I know quit his job at the coffee shop. Couldn’t stand the daily grind.

I told a friend that I had a job in a bowling alley. “Tenpin?” he asked me. “No” I said, “It’s permanent.”

Friend of mine gave up his job at the classic rock magazine as he had musical differences with his colleagues. He gave rave reviews.

A friend of mine quit his job at the helium factory recently. He refused to be spoken to in that tone.

A chap I know gave up ploughing because he was stuck in a rut.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

I know someone who has an awful job at a recycling plant crushing soft drink cans. It’s soda pressing.

A friend of mine lost his job at a fish supplies company. He opened a whole can of worms.

Had to quit a job in a butchers with shelves that were eight foot off the ground. The steaks were too high.

A friend had an interview for a job a local taxi company. He turned up twenty minutes late, and the chap interviewing him said “the job’s yours

A friend of mine got a job as a bus driver because he was so good at telling people where to get off.

A friend got a new job as a chiropodist and found the first day really difficult. I guess he was still finding his feet.

Gave an odd job man a list of ten things that needed doing. He only finished items 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

Someone I know has got a job writing a new dictionary. I’ve asked him to put a word in for me.

A friend got fired because his communication skills were not good enough. He didn’t know what to say.

A friend wants to give up being a postman to become a comedian, but his delivery is awful.

Another friend got a job as a postman. On his first day, he was handed a letter. He looked at it, and thought “this isn’t for me”.

A friend has a job doing odd jobs in a tower block. She’s high maintenance.

Sad to hear about the last local balloon company closing. It couldn’t keep up with the high cost of inflation….

 

 

If you like them, then have a look at the other jokes here…