I just didn’t fit in

Jigsaw Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of jigsaw jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was so tired this morning that after half an hour trying to do a jigsaw of a tiger, I realised it was actually a packet of Frosties.  …

The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it's full...

Moon Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are on the theme of moon jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night. He’s over the moon.   I watched a series of online videos about the sun and the moon…

greeted by a labrador

Jacket Jokes

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Jacket Jokes, which as always come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a reflective jacket. It sits in the corner and reads Descartes.   Took my jacket potato to the dentist. It needed a filling.   Why do bears have…

It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale

Pig Jokes

Pigs have been in the news recently as we have entered the Year of the Pig, so in tribute to the lovely, clever creatures, here are some pig jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee oh hilarity or originality…       A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. I’m going…

I said yes and I do a good version of Bohemian Rhapsody too

Interview Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of interview jokes, but I don’t recommend using them in an interview… as normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A friend had an interview for a job a local taxi company. He turned up twenty minutes late, and the…

quite like weighing a person but on a much larger scale

Scale Jokes

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of scale jokes. Of course, scale can have several meanings, and there are a few here, and as always, these would rank low on a scale of one to ten for either hilarity or originality…       On a scale of one to…

plural of octopus

Octopus Jokes

For no particular reason, the topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Octopus Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       An octopus held up the local bank. Apparently he was well armed.   How much effort does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten…

It's just two gross

Mathematics Jokes

I had a conversation recently about mathematics jokes, including some of the puns below, so here is a full page of them. Some of them are a little niche, so might require a bit of explaining if maths isn’t your thing. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…      …

Never trust ladders

Ladder Jokes

This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the form of ladder jokes. Don’t expect them to raise you up to another level, or to give you too much of a lift… As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Heard a myth about a single bed placed…

The horse says no two halves

Pantomime Jokes

We’re just about still in the pantomime season – oh no you’re not, or it’s behind you! I hear you cry – so here are some pantomime jokes. Pantomimes are normally associated with lots of humour and funny jokes, so that’s where the similarity might end. As normal these come with no guarantee of hilarity…

babybell

Bell Jokes

It’s nearly Christmas, and today sees the winter solstice, so as Jethro Tull – the band, not the agriculturalist – would say, Ring Out Solstice Bells! Here are some bell jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man goes into a library and asks for…

Standing near the chimney I thought I heard Santa coughing I think he is coming down with something

Chimney Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of chimney jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       My mate’s chimney sweeping business is going well. Performance is going through the roof.   Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace under the chimney.…