Empty shelves in Tesco

Onion Jokes

There have been some odd topics for pages of one liners, and this one falls in that category.  Here are some onion jokes.  Hopefully the only tears will be of laughter.  Don’t, though, expect too much hilarity or originality….

 

“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.

I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion.

I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.

My local spring onions have started singing hip hop. The little rap scallions.

Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile? In case Mr Onion Rings.

What’s small, white and laughs a lot in salads? A tickled onion.

Inside one in every 3.14 onions is an opinion.

Where do you find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.

I saw an onion ring. So I answered it.

I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.

 

Last week’s superhero jokes are here.

If you like these jokes, have a look here for a list of even more joke topics.