Download Festival 2014

Music Festival Jokes

It’s the weekend of Glastonbury, and a couple of weeks ago I found myself at the Download festival at Donington Park, so it seems as good a time as any to have a page of one-liners and puns on the topic of music festival jokes.  As normal, don’t expect these to be either original or funny…

 

I had my photo taken at a REM gig once. That’s me in the corner…

Went to Glastonbury once with a dull friend.  They were a real stuck in the mud.

A friend is in a band called 999Mb. They haven’t had a gig yet.

I heard that, when she played Glastonbury, Dolly Parton sang Nine to Five.  That was a really long set.

Pleased at our choice of celebrity to open our jumble sale. Axl Rose made everyone feel welcome.

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick? If so, you could be entitled to compensation if you make a personal Ian Dury claim.

Another friend was in a band called Half Man Half Bull. The played a few gigs across the Midlands. It was a minor tour.

I’m writing a song about getting my door lock replaced. There’s a key change at the end.

I know someone in a band called White Line. They’re very middle of the road.

I went to see Placebo once.  I actually thought that they were The Cure.

U2′s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them. It certainly takes the Edge off them.

When The Edge was at school, he was a border.

A rock singer stayed with me once, but had to ask him to move out. He never knew when to come in, and could never find the key.

 

 

 

Last week’s Scrabble jokes can be found here.

There is an index of such jokes here.