Xander on a tractor

Tractor Jokes

My son Xander’s favourite word at the moment seems to be “Tractor”, so in his honour, this week’s puns and one-liners come with the theme of tractor jokes. As normal, don’t expect originality, or hilarity….


I haven’t seen that new film “The Tractor” yet, but I’ve seen the trailer.

A farmer friend of mine got his tractor stuck. He drove it into a magnetic field.

There’s a new reality TV programme for former farmers. It’s called X-Tractor.

I thought the local farmer was a magician when his tractor turned into a field.

Local farmer has been using a vehicle to make crop circles that are perfectly round. I think he has a protractor.

A friend of mine used to love farm machinery, now he’s great at sucking all of the air out of a room. He’s an ex-tractor fan.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?  “Where’s my tractor?”

When is a tractor not a tractor?  When it turns into a barn.

Friend’s girlfriend left him for a tractor salesman.  She sent him a John Deere letter.

Friend of mine rented a farm vehicle but got ripped off.  It was a con-tractor.



Last week’s rain jokes are here.

There is an index of this sort of nonsense over here.