Berta in Bed

Bed Jokes

This week’s collection of puns and one-liners take the form of bed jokes, for no particular reason. As normal, no guarantee of funniness or originality…

 

Heard a myth about a single bed placed on top of another one, and attached with a ladder. Fortunately, I was able to debunk it.

 

Not going to lie, my beds is broken.

 

I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn’t been made up yet.

 

“I was in a play called breakfast in bed once”.  “Did you have a big role?” “No, just toast with a bit of butter”.

 

Couldn’t sleep, so went to a counsellor for advice.  He said, “sleep on the edge of the bed, you’ll soon drop off”

 

Saw a shop saying they were having a bed sale, 50% off everything. When I went in, all of their beds were only three foot long.

 

I wrote a story about my bed. I made it myself.

 

A friend replaced his bed with a trampoline without telling his partner.  She hit the roof.

 

I thought about splashing out on a water bed.

 

Taller people sleep longer in bed.

 

Simba was always the last of the pride to get out of bed.  He was the lie-in king.

 

I was in a band once called Teenager’s Bed.  Never made it.

 

 

 

Last week’s Fortune Teller jokes are here.

There is an index of such jokes here.