Fish Jokes

Someone sent me some fish jokes this week, so it seemed a good choice for this week’s one liners, so here are some fish jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.


I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday.  He said he would have preferred a fish.

I walked into the fish shop and asked the man for a large fish.’Won’t be long’ said the fish shop man.’Well it better be wide then’ I said.

Why did the fish cross the road? Because he saw the pelican crossing.

Not so sure why everyone goes on about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day.

Couple of friends went to a shop selling half price flat fish. Cheap skates.

I’d tell you a joke about herbs and fish but this isn’t the thyme or the plaice.

I saw a singing fish once in the Choral Reef.

I went into a fish and chip shop the other day and said I’ll have fish and chips twice. The guy behind the counter said “I heard you the first time”.

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other “how do you drive this thing?”

What do you call a woman with a fish in her hair? Annette.

Saw a fish that keeps musical instruments working properly. He’s a piano tuna.

I’m in a fish based band. I play the bass.


Last week’s yellow jokes are here.

If you like these fish jokes, have a look over here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.