Fire Jokes

It’s autumn, not long before the clocks change, and Halloween is around the corner. This week has seen us sitting at home in the evening with the fire lit, so the theme for this week’s one liners is Fire Jokes. As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…



Bought a friend a fire extinguisher. He was de-lighted.

Someone through my 70s records on the fire.  It was a disco inferno.

Searched online for something to light a fire. It said “no matches found”.

Who invented fire? Some bright spark.

Which English king invented the fireplace? Alfred The Grate.

A friend who likes fires found his partner on

What do you call a woman who puts her credit card statements straight in the fire?  Bernadette.

Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.

Watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals.  It was sole destroying.

I was going to try walking on hot burning coals but I got cold feet.


Last week’s Sandwich jokes are here.

If you like these fire jokes, have a look here for more joke topics.