Bottle Jokes

In the midst of the Christmas Party season, here are some Bottle Jokes. As normal they don’t come with any guarantee of hilarity or originality.


Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.

On a flight, off on holiday. The cabin crew member asked what I wanted to drink.
“A bottle of water”.
“Well, I haven’t changed my mind…”

A man walks into a library and asks for a bottle of water. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The man whispers “sorry, a bottle of water, please”.

Worried that the milk I bought this morning has come from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly the same as a bottle I bought yesterday.

Going to a recycling party this weekend. The invite said to bring a bottle.

I was in a shop the other day, and there was an empty tester bottle of perfume with a sign saying “out of odour”.

A man was hit in the face with a bottle of Omega 3 pills. He only suffered super fish oil injuries.

Sting has launched an aromatherapy range. It’s a massage in a bottle.

Asked a friend why he was staring at a bottle of orange juice. He replied that it said “concentrate” on it.

I call my friend “genie”. Every time I open a bottle, he appears.



Last week’s robot jokes are here.

If you like these bottle jokes, have a look over here for a list of joke topics.