Gambling Jokes

gambol

The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity […]

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Snooker Jokes

telekinetic snooker

Looking back through some old posts, I realised there were lots of puns about snooker, but not a dedicated page, so this week’s one liners take the form of snooker jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. If you’re a fan of snooker and enjoy watching it on British TV, […]

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Supermarket Jokes

unexpected item

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Supermarket Jokes. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Standing in the supermarket, I wasn’t sure which pasta to buy. Then the penne dropped.   My local supermarket is selling superhero toiletries for kids, like Batman shampoo. I’m […]

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Kitchen Jokes

counter fitting

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of kitchen jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.   One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think it’s the Chopin board.   When […]

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Jewellery Jokes

Planning to start a jewellery business

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jewellery Jokes, although don’t expect to find too many gems in here.  As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring.   My girlfriend wasn’t happy […]

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Flower Jokes

square roots

In this beautiful spring weather, what better a subject for one liners and puns than flower jokes, so here are a few for you. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A teacher asked a class “How do you spell chrysanthemum?”. The reply comes “Don’t worry, we don’t […]

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Elvis Jokes

love meat tender

Going through some old pages, I spotted that Elvis comes up frequently, so here are lots of those puns and one liners collated as a collection of Elvis jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….     I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in […]

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Carpet Jokes

Police think it was the work of rug addicts

This week’s puns and one liners are on the theme of carpet jokes, so they should cover quite a lot… As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     A friend of mine is a carpet fitter. Walter Wall.   Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets […]

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Grass Jokes

forlorn

With Spring well under way, the grass cutting has started again, and that’s given me a topic for this week’s puns and one liners.  Here are some grass jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the […]

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Mouse Jokes

I could tell he was thinking it

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of mouse jokes, and appropriately enough, at least some of them are rather cheesy. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.     I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in a trap.   What do angry […]

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Banking Jokes

His bank have called in the bay leafs

This week’s puns and one liners are based on the theme of banking jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     I do enjoy getting cash out of the bank and then throwing it in the river and watching it float away. I like studying my cash flow.   […]

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Acting Jokes

Look for the Fresh Prints

This week’s puns and one liners are on the topic of Acting Jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Went to a big reunion the other week. Tom Hanks turned up.   An actor I know fell through the floor recently. I think it is just a stage […]

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