This week’s collection of puns and one liners takes the theme of Ballet Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend of mine has just graduated from ballet school with a 2:2. Why do baby swans like Swan Lake? It’s their cygnet-ure tune. A…
You might say that many of my puns are at best half jokes, but these half jokes are all puns where the world half makes an appearance. A few might be a bit tenuous, but nothing new there. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If you like halves, you might…
Pigeons are ubiquitous in the UK, and across much of the world, so a good topic for a page of puns. Here are some pigeon jokes. And if you like pigeons, this story might interest you about Paddy the Pigeon, a decorated war hero. Of course, these jokes come with no guarantee of hilarity or…
It’s been a delightfully sunny week in the UK, which is more of a surprise in late June for some than it should be, so what better topic for a page of puns than sunny jokes. It’s been an effort even typing them in this weather. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity…
The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity…
Looking back through some old posts, I realised there were lots of puns about snooker, but not a dedicated page, so this week’s one liners take the form of snooker jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. If you’re a fan of snooker and enjoy watching it on British TV,…
The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Supermarket Jokes. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Standing in the supermarket, I wasn’t sure which pasta to buy. Then the penne dropped. My local supermarket is selling superhero toiletries for kids, like Batman shampoo. I’m…
This week’s puns and one liners take the form of kitchen jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel. One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think it’s the Chopin board. When…
This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jewellery Jokes, although don’t expect to find too many gems in here. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring. My girlfriend wasn’t happy…
In this beautiful spring weather, what better a subject for one liners and puns than flower jokes, so here are a few for you. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A teacher asked a class “How do you spell chrysanthemum?”. The reply comes “Don’t worry, we don’t…
Going through some old pages, I spotted that Elvis comes up frequently, so here are lots of those puns and one liners collated as a collection of Elvis jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in…
This week’s puns and one liners are on the theme of carpet jokes, so they should cover quite a lot… As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend of mine is a carpet fitter. Walter Wall. Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets…