Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe

Turnip Jokes

We’ve just had Halloween, and although the current trend is for Jack O’Lanterns made out of pumpkins, the traditional option was the turnip. Growing up in Northern Ireland, I had many attempts at carving a turnip, and it takes a lot more effort than a pumpkin. Not only that, but the smell of a turnip with a burning candle in it is quite something… When the Celts arrived in North America, the lack of turnips but availability of pumpkins saw the introduction of a much easier carving option. Here are some turnip jokes though to remember the more traditional effort. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 

 

 

Every time there’s a garden party, I’m sure to turnip.

 

A local scarecrow is quite a good DJ, Turnip The Beet.

 

Saw a vegetable being delivered to the local library. That’s a turnip for the books.

 

Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe.

 

I used to think Elton John’s favourite vegetable was turnip. Then I realised that he’s more of a rocket man.

 

A friend of mine has a vegetable patch. It stops the cravings for turnips all day.

 

Why did the turnip win the scarecrow race? Because it was a head.

 

I saw some lettuce, tomatoes and turnips having a drink the other day. It was in a salad bar.

 

A friend of mine was looking sad because he had lost his favourite root vegetable. I’m sure it will turnip.

 

Heard that burglars used a potato to smash a window and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.

 

 

 

Last week’s spray jokes are here.

If you like these turnip jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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