It seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed that it would be a good topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes. Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system would have them filed under either “original” or “funny”….
I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on floor panels. “No” the librarian replied, “We keep them on shelves here”.
A chap walks into a library and asks for a book about cliffhangers. The librarian says…
Just discovered that there’s a library in my village. They kept that quiet.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on the laws of probability. The librarian says “it might be on the shelf over there”.
A woman walks into a library and asks for a book about curiosity. The librarian says “why do you want that”?
A chap walks into a library, and the librarian cuts the bottom off his trousers and sticks it in a novel. He thinks, “that’s a turn up for the books”.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book about coincidences. The librarian says, “this one has just arrived”.
A woman walks into a library and asks “Do you have Great Expectations?”. The librarian says “I hope to be the manager by the end of he year”.
Got a book from the library on Stockholm Syndrome. Didn’t like it at first, but by the end I thought it was great.
Not impressed by the local library. It’s a one storey building.
A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”.
I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. He said, “It’s behind you”.
A man walks into a library. The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”.
I went into the Library and said I’m looking for a book on how to let customers down politely. The librarian said, “I’m terribly sorry sir but I can’t help you with that”. I said ‘Yes that’s the one”
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on ‘Finding Bigfoot’. The librarian directs him to the large print section.
Last week’s dream jokes are here.
If you like these library jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.