Scissor Jokes

rock paper scissors

This week’s one liners and puns takes the theme of scissor jokes.  As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Tried to take a clip from Kerrang magazine. I realised I needed Rock Paper Scissors.   I entered the Scissors of the Year competition but I didn’t make the cut. […]

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Bubble Wrap Jokes

bubble wrap

I normally add a page of jokes every Friday, but an exception this week for an additional page of jokes. The last Monday in January is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day when the world can celebrate the Sealed Air product that may be ubiquitous but still makes grown ups and children stop what they are doing […]

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Crumble Jokes

apple

After last week’s rhubarb jokes and previous apple jokes, this week we have some crumble jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Went to the shop today to buy some blackberries and apples to make a crumble, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.   […]

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Rhubarb Jokes

rhubarb wire

This week’s one liners and puns take the form of rhubarb jokes.  As always, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity…     I’m protecting my allotment from burglars by surrounding it with rhubarb wire.   My neighbour puts manure on his rhubarb.  I prefer custard.   Where does rhubarb go for a […]

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Fog Jokes

mist tickle

The inclement weather that has plagued my morning commute this week seemed as good an inspiration as any for some puns, so here is a page of fog jokes. I should add, though, that I do remember a journey around the M25, London’s orbital road, about twenty years ago, with a friend who asked why […]

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Breakfast Jokes

crumpet

Welcome to the first blog post of 2018, and as it’s good to start with a hearty breakfast, here are some breakfast jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Why does a French man normally only have a single egg for breakfast?  Because one egg is an oeuf. […]

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Balloon Jokes

Cold Air Balloon

The festive period in my house has, in addition to Christmas and New Year, my birthday somewhere between the two, so plenty of parties, and most of the celebratory pun topics have been used up, so here are some balloon jokes as an as of yet unused pun source.  As normal, they come with no […]

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Elf Jokes

Rebel

It’s getting close to Christmas, and whilst we’ve had jokes before about all sorts of aspects of Christmas, this week’s puns and one liners take the form of Elf Jokes, most of which are very short and particularly corny.  As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Why did the […]

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Island Jokes

I found myself near the Lake Isle of Innisfree this week, as made famous by the William Butler Yates, on Lough Gill near Sligo in Ireland, and it gave me the topic for this week’s puns and one liners, so here are some island jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or […]

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Brush Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of brush jokes.  As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     I went to a record shop and asked, “have you got anything by the Doors?” He said, “Yes, a bucket of sand, a mop and a brush”.   Friend if […]

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