Drink Jokes

tea

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of drink jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Just heard someone shouting “Tequila! Vodka! Whiskey!” I said “I call the shots around here”.   How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a drink? Tea, Rex? […]

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Needle Jokes

haystack

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is needle jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Read about a new website called www.needleinahaystack.com. Took me ages to find it.   A police officer spotted a man driving along the motorway with knitting needles. He got […]

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Offal Jokes

tripe

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of offal jokes.  Some would say that plenty of the jokes here are at least a bit offal.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Someone told me that a cow has multiple stomachs.  That sounds like a load […]

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Shark Jokes

bream

This week’s puns and one liners is inspired by a former colleague, Andy, who spends time in the office interviewing people with a plastic puppet called Bruce The Shark. So, here are some shark jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     What do you get if you cross […]

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Scissor Jokes

rock paper scissors

This week’s one liners and puns takes the theme of scissor jokes.  As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Tried to take a clip from Kerrang magazine. I realised I needed Rock Paper Scissors.   I entered the Scissors of the Year competition but I didn’t make the cut. […]

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Crumble Jokes

apple

After last week’s rhubarb jokes and previous apple jokes, this week we have some crumble jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Went to the shop today to buy some blackberries and apples to make a crumble, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.   […]

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Rhubarb Jokes

rhubarb wire

This week’s one liners and puns take the form of rhubarb jokes.  As always, they come with no guarantee of originality or hilarity…     I’m protecting my allotment from burglars by surrounding it with rhubarb wire.   My neighbour puts manure on his rhubarb.  I prefer custard.   Where does rhubarb go for a […]

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Fog Jokes

mist tickle

The inclement weather that has plagued my morning commute this week seemed as good an inspiration as any for some puns, so here is a page of fog jokes. I should add, though, that I do remember a journey around the M25, London’s orbital road, about twenty years ago, with a friend who asked why […]

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Breakfast Jokes

crumpet

Welcome to the first blog post of 2018, and as it’s good to start with a hearty breakfast, here are some breakfast jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Why does a French man normally only have a single egg for breakfast?  Because one egg is an oeuf. […]

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Elf Jokes

Rebel

It’s getting close to Christmas, and whilst we’ve had jokes before about all sorts of aspects of Christmas, this week’s puns and one liners take the form of Elf Jokes, most of which are very short and particularly corny.  As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Why did the […]

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