As you may be aware, Friday is the day for witty one-liners here, although I do use the term witty in its broadest sense, and some of these stretch all the way to a second line with some browser settings, so please don’t be disappointed if they are not original, nor that witty….
I had a dream that someone was shouting “On Your Marks… Get Set….”. I woke up with a bit of a start.
I was in Bermuda recently, and I went to see their national orchestra playing. The chap with the triangle mysteriously disappeared.
I was walking through Botanic Gardens in Belfast the other week when I saw two ducks. One said “quack”. The other said “slow down, I’m going as quack as I can”….
A friend of mine is a musician. He used to be in a band called The Hinges, used to be quite big. They supported The Doors.
I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Apparently it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man…
I hear some of the local carpenters have left their trade society and formed a splinter group.
Got a new mousemat today. Hope he uses it and stops leaving little footprints everywhere.
Went to a specialist shop the other day, and bought some binoculars, but they cost a fortune. I think they saw me coming.
I used the return portion of my train ticket today. That took me back.
A chap I know got sacked from his job as a set designer. He left without making a scene….
Last week’s jokes are here.
If you like these witty one-liners, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.