More Witty One-Liners…

As you may be aware, Friday is the day for witty one-liners here, although I do use the term witty in its broadest sense, and some of these stretch all the way to a second line with some browser settings, so please don’t be disappointed if they are not original, or that witty….




I had a dream that someone was shouting “On Your Marks… Get Set….”.  I woke up with a bit of a start.


I was in Bermuda recently, and I went to see their national orchestra playing. The chap with the triangle mysteriously disappeared.


I was walking through Botanic Gardens in Belfast the other week when I saw two ducks.  One said “quack”.  The other said “slow down, I’m going as quack as I can”….


A friend of mine is a musician.  He used to be in a band called The Hinges, used to be quite big.  They supported The Doors.


I went to the Isle of Dogs once.  Apparently it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man…


I hear some of the local carpenters have left their trade society and formed a splinter group.


Got a new mousemat today.  Hope he uses it and stops leaving little footprints everywhere.


Went to a specialist shop the other day, and bought some binoculars, but they cost a fortune.  I think they saw me coming.


I used the return portion of my train ticket today.  That took me back.


A chap I know got sacked from his job as a set designer.  He left without making a scene….



There is an index of similar nonsense here…