An umbrella from the 2012 Paralympic Opening Ceremony

Umbrella Jokes

Hopefully spring is now here and the need for umbrellas will be less frequent after a wet winter, so here are a few umbrella jokes to whet your appetite.  As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…

 

An economist friend told me to put something away for a rainy day.  I’ve gone for an umbrella.

 

Why does Santa have a really big umbrella? Because of all the rain, dear…

 

When does a detective carry an umbrella? When he’s under cover…

 

Why would you want a chicken proof umbrella?  To use when the weather is fowl.

 

What sort of pub should you take an umbrella to?  An Isobar.

 

Why do people in cities often carry umbrellas?  Because umbrellas can’t walk.

 

What do you call Paddington without an umbrella?  A drizzly bear.

 

What do you call a parrot with an umbrella?  Polly unsaturated.

 

Why did the man put his umbrella away and open his wallet?  He was hoping for some change in the weather.

 

Finished my job at the umbrella factory.  I was only covering for someone.

 

Asked my iPhone, “surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”.  Siri replied “yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.  Turned out I had left Airplane mode on.

 

 

 

Last week’s programmer jokes are here.

 

If you like these umbrella jokes, have a look over here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.