The 2013 ATP Tennis Finals

Tennis Jokes

I may be at Silverstone for the British Grand Prix this weekend – how exciting! – but there is another sporting event on in the UK which is likely to get just a little bit of attention, so with Wimbledon reaching its climax, this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is in the form of tennis jokes.  As normal, don’t expect them to be original or funny…  And in case you are wondering, the photo for this is from the 2013 ATP World Tour tennis final at London’s O2.


Not surprised by the high divorce rate among tennis players. Love means nothing to them.

Local tennis club’s website is down. I think they are having problems with their server.

I see Robinson’s are still sponsoring tennis. I would have thought that squash is more their thing.

A friend of mine likes to stand in the middle of tennis courts. Annette.

Got a second hand tennis racquet for only £10. No strings attached.

So close to beating a chocolate bar at tennis. Was only a breakaway.

A new tennis player goes to the library and asks for books about aces. “No way”, says the librarian, “you won’t return them”.

Was in a shop recently, I pressed the bell that said Service. I got hit in the face with a tennis ball.

Imagine what the Chuckle Brothers would say to each other during a game of tennis.

I’ve invented a new game called Silent Tennis. It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.

A friend has to wear glasses whilst playing tennis. It’s a non-contact sport.



Last week’s collection of Music Festival jokes are here.

There is an index of such jokes and one-liners over here.