Penguins at Taronga Zoo

Spot Jokes

We’ve had a chickenpox outbreak at home, although thankfully I’ve been spared (so far), but as I’ve been thinking about rashes this week, here are a series of spot jokes. Of course, the humour from these jokes may not be infectious, and you may have heard them before…



I asked the doctor if he could cure my measels. He said he doesn’t make rash promises.

A dermatologist friend of mine started his career from scratch.

A friend is allergic to escaping prison. He breaks out in a rash.

How do you spot a secret agent? Give him measles.

A friend’s spot burst when he went to the pharmacist. Puss in Boots.

A friend has an illness that’s given him a fever and a rash. At least his wifi is better with all the hot spots.

A neighbour told me he had spotted a lion. I think it’s more likely to be a leopard.

What’s black and red all over? A panda with measles.

What do you call a meerkat with measles? Pimples.

I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.



Last week’s dinosaur jokes are here.

If you like these jokes, have a look over here.