Pencil Jokes

I was looking for some stationery this week, and it made me think about topics for a page of puns. We’ve had ruler jokes before, so on a similar theme, here are some pencil jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of either hilarity or originality…



A policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’


Do you know who won when the Pencil Rugby Club played the Pen Rugby Club? Neither, it was a draw.


Broken pencils are pointless.


A friend of mine got engaged to a pencil. He was really excited to introduce his friends to his bride 2B.


If you roll a pencil down a hill, is it stationery?


Someone tried to sell me a pencil with an eraser at each end the other night. I couldn’t see the point.


Who’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler.


Looking for a pencil, I asked in the local shop if they keep stationery. Chap said “I move around a bit”.



Last week’s tie jokes are here.

If you like these pencil jokes, then there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.


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