Needle Jokes

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is needle jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…




Read about a new website called www.needleinahaystack.com. Took me ages to find it.


A police officer spotted a man driving along the motorway with knitting needles. He got his attention and shouted “pull over!”. The man looked back and said “well, I think of it more as a jumper”.


Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles…


A friend with knitting needles told me he has a pattern for sunglasses. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes.


I’d tell you a joke about a blunt needle but it’s pointless.


The most impressive thing about it taking twelve sheep to make a jumper is that I didn’t know they had any knitting needles.


I bet some friends I could manufacturer a sewing needle. It was a silly challenge but I made my point.


Someone locally keeps going around and stealing people’s knitting needles. Police think he is following a pattern.


Good acupuncture is a jab well done.


A group of friends with needles are part of a clothes knit community.


I would tell you a joke about a needle in a haystack, but I don’t think you’d see the point.






Last week’s night jokes are here.

If you like these needle jokes, there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.