More Christmas Cracker Jokes

I posted one or two – or many more – jokes last week that had a Christmas theme, but now that we have had Christmas and a few more have appeared, here are a few more Christmas Cracker jokes for you, which as always, may not be particularly original, or even that funny for that matter. I hope that you enjoy them, and even if they do not cause a Ho Ho Ho response, that they might at least result in a titter.

 

What does the Queen do after she burps? She issues a royal pardon.

What do snowmen do on Boxing Day? Chill Out

Why is a pantomime often just called a panto? Because mime is silent.

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an ipad? A Pineapple.

What is the difference between St George and Santa’s reindeer? One slays a dragon, the others are dragging a sleigh.

One snowman looks at the other and says “Do you smell carrots?”

What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

What did the sea say to Santa? Nothing, it just waved…

What is the most popular wine on Christmas Day? “…but I don’t like Brussel Sprouts”

How does Santa take photos? With his pole-aroid camera.

What type of photos does Santa take? Elfies.

How do we know that Santa is a racing driver? Because he is always in pole position.

What do you call it when all the elves clap for their boss? Santapplause.

What is orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney at Christmas? Fanta Claus

How do the airforce record Santa and his sleigh if they see him? As a U F Ho Ho Ho

Why does Santa enter houses through chimneys? Because they soot him.

What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby reindeer.

Why did Sherlock Holmes ask Santa for a yellow front door? Lemon Entry.

A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”.

 

 

Last week’s Christmas Cracker jokes are here.

There is an index of pages of similar jokes here.