A statue in a museum in Addis Ababa

Lion Jokes

A collection of lion jokes this week, for no particular reason. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality… If you are wondering where the photo of the lion used for this post has come from, it was from a rather fantastic trip to Addis Ababa a little while ago.  Some details on that here.


My lion impression went down well.  A roaring success.


I would tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but it’s Narnia business.


At any given time, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than a whim away.


Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion’s share.


A lion goes into a restaurant and orders a steak.  The waiter asks how he would like it. The lion replies, “RAW!”


I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.


Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job.  He was a lion thief.


Why did the lion get lost?  Because jungle is massive.


I’m not a fan of lion bars.  They seem to be quite dangerous places to hang out.


I was in the book shop earlier, and they had a third off all titles.  I bought a copy of The Lion, The Witch…


A neighbour told me he spotted a lion recently.  I told him that if it was spotted, it was more likely a leopard…



Last week’s bed jokes are here.

There is an index of such randomness here.