Me dressed vaguely like a viking

Hat Jokes

This week’s collection of one-liners and puns is made up of hat jokes, for no particular reason. As always, these jokes come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…

“I just bought a new hat”
“No, for me.”

I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”. I thought, “That’s a small price toupee”.

I’m not saying that my friend Fred doesn’t think deeply, but usually the only thing on his mind is his hat.

Met a chap the other day, I asked him what he did. He said he was a henchman for someone aiming to take over the world, and he used a steel rimmed bladed hat as part of his profession. I said, “that’s an Odd Job”….

Who wears the biggest hat in the army? The one with the biggest head.

A friend always wears a nun’s outfit and hat when he’s out. It’s just a habit that he has.

Barbers. You have to take your hat off to them.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex.

Spotted a chap playing tennis in a hat the other day. Think it was Roger Fedora.

Saw Miami Sound Machine recently and one of them waved a blue & white hat and scarf. Must have been Gloria Leicesterfan.

I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.

And of course, the old, corny hat-based classic….

What did the hat say to the tie?
“You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”



Last week’s ship jokes are here.

There is an alphabetical list of such joke topics here.