Grape Jokes

The inspiration for this week’s page of one liners came from looking at the fruit bowl, so here are a page of grape jokes.  Of course, they come with the normal caveats of not being overly funny or original, and they might just make you let out a little whine….


Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? He ran out of juice.

A hangover: the wrath of grapes.

I know a grape who spends his time sitting in the sun. It’s his raisin d’etre.

A friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds like sour grapes to me.

There’s a rumour about my group of cows that only eat small fruit. I herd it through the grape vine.

Saw a grape in the bank. He was opening a currant account.

A grape growing friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.

Went to the shop today to buy some grapes and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.

In a bureau de change and swapped 100 grapes for 50 raisins. Not sure about the currant exchange rate.
And the classic…

What did the grape say when someone stood on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.


Last week’s swan jokes are here.

If you like these, then there are more similar jokes over here.