Glass Jokes

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is glass jokes, which as normal come with no guarantee of humour or originality…



Saw a chess player snacking on crisps whilst drinking from an exotic looking glass. Pawn Cocktail.

A friend’s pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With him, the glass was always half empty.

What do you call a woman who plays pool whilst balancing four pint glasses on her? Beatrix Potter.

They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.

Why do Java developers often wear glasses? They can’t C#.

How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.

Every time I take a drink from a glass, it keeps pouring back. Must be spring water.

Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.

Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.

I was on a flight and I asked for a glass of water. The cabin crew asked “still?” I said “well, I haven’t changed my mind”.



Last week’s tent jokes are here.

If you like these glass jokes, there are a whole series of other topics here.