Friday Jokes, puns and one-liners

As always, here are some Friday jokes, puns and one liners, that are not necessarily particularly original, or terrifically funny, but they may raise the occasional smile or groan…

 

Sad that the local archery business had to close.  They weren’t hitting their targets.

 

Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for shops.  It was counterproductive.

 

A friend has gone into business fixing car ignitions.  It’s a start up.

 

Sad to see a local sauna business close.  It just ran out of steam.

 

A friend bought me a really cheap thesaurus.  I couldn’t find the words to thank him.

 

A friend had an interview for a job a local taxi company.   He turned up twenty minutes late, and the chap interviewing him said “the job’s yours.”

 

A friend of mine got a job as a bus driver because he was so good at telling people where to get off.
Went shopping the other day and bought a barge pole.  Thought I’d push the boat out.

 

A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion.  The vet has described its condition as comfortable.

 

My new stopwatch is great.  It goes from 0-60 in a minute.

 

 

There is an index of similar here…