Dog Jokes

It’s my dog Berta‘s birthday – or rather, the anniversary of when she came home with us as we don’t the date of her actual birthday – this weekend, so in her honour, here are some dog jokes.  I hope that you like them, and I will tell them to Berta later to see how she reacts.  I’m not expecting too much…  As usual, don’t expect them to be original or funny.


A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.

Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team. It wasn’t easy, he had to jump through hoops to get it.

I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Apparently it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man…

I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat

I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.

A friend of my wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers.

A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering.

I used to have a dog who liked red wine. He was a bordeaux collie.

I know another dog who goes and sits in the corner every time the doorbell rings. He’s a boxer.

Local dog barks at everyone. He’s a cross breed.

Berta keeps barking everytime there is someone at the door. Don’t know why, it’s almost never for her.

Got myself a robot puppy. Dogmatic.

I called my dog Blacksmith. Every time I opened the door, he made a bolt for it.


There is an index of similar jokes here.

Last week’s money jokes are here.