St George at Kenilworth Castle

Chess Jokes

This week’s one liners and puns come in the form of chess jokes.  Hopefully they will not require you to think too much, although they equally will not require you to laugh or think of them as being originality.


I had dinner once with Garry Kasporov in a restaurant with checked tablecloths.. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.


I had to leave the hotel earlier when two grand masters arrived and started talking about their best tournaments. I can’t stand chess nut boasting in an open foyer.


Got a blank chess board.  Check it out.


Spotted a bird playing chess.  I thought, “toucan play that game”.


When I was learning chess, I once tried to move my caste first.  Bit of a rookie error.


Friend asked me if I fancied a game of chess next week. I said I’d check my diary.  He doesn’t have a board.


Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though.


Got a job working shifts as a piece in a 24 hour human chess game.  I’m on knights this week.


Making a film about playing chess in a lift.  The Dark Knight Rises.


Saw a game that’s a mix of chess, Connect Four and battleships.  It’s called rook, line and sinker.


Chap asked me how I was going to pay for my new chess set.  I said, “cheque, mate”.



Last week’s frog jokes are here.


If you like these types of jokes, have a look here