The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now.
Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion’s share.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
My lion impression went down well. A roaring success.
At any given time, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than a whim away.
Got invited to the neighbours for pre-Christmas drinks with nibbles. They really spoil that cat.
I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was a lion thief.
I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat.
Why did the lion get lost? Because jungle is massive.
Last week’s circus jokes are here.
If you like these cat jokes, there is an index of joke topics here.