angry beetle

Bread Jokes

The theme for this week’s puns and one liners in Bread Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 

 

 

I’ve made a really hot breakfast, but I’m not one to blow my own crumpet.

 

A truck has overturned near the local bakery and spilled its load. Police say to expect delays on the yeast bound carriageway.

 

Had some mean bread the other day. Tasted average.

 

I’d tell you the joke about some jam on a piece of bread but you might spread it.

 

Two croissants in an oven, one says, “It’s hot in here”. The other says, “Wow, a talking croissant…”

 

Some bread walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.

 

A man moves to a new house. For the first three days on the way to work he sees a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread. On the fourth day, she’s hitting him with a cake. He asks what is going on. The woman replies, “well, it is his birthday”.

 

I was arguing with a friend in a pizza restaurant the other night when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.

 

I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo. It was bread in captivity.

 

I was confused when I was given a stroppy John Lennon impersonator in the bakery. I said “That’s not a croissant, it’s an angry Beetle”….

 

 

 

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