Mirror Jokes

This week’s topic for one liners and puns is Mirror Jokes, so reflect on these.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.   I held up my clock to a mirror. It was time for reflection.   What does a cheese say to itself in a mirror? Halloumi.   Think I […]

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Fan Jokes

A fan

The sun has been shining during this first week of July, and there have been plenty of fans and air conditioning units hard at work, so here are some fan jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…   A friend of mine used to love farm machinery, now he’s great […]

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ATM Jokes

ATMs

The ATM, or cash machine, reached its fiftieth birthday in the U.K. this week.  To mark the occasion, here are some ATM jokes, some of which may be older than the machines themselves.  They were always designed for humour, with their launch being made by a celebrity first customer, Reg Varney, before he moved on […]

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Lamp Jokes

This week’s topic for puns is Lamp Jokes. However, no genie (or djini) in the lamp jokes here as that could be a page all by itself, a bit like the “how many x does it take to change a lightbulb” type, which no doubt will arrive here at some stage. Don’t, as always, expect […]

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Pepper Jokes

The topic for this week’s puns is Pepper Jokes, so take them with a pinch of salt. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     Someone told me I looked like a pepper mill. I took it as a condiment. Why do seals live in salt water? Pepper makes them […]

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Keyboard Jokes

Staring to my laptop earlier thinking about joke topics gave me the idea of keyboard Jokes for this week’s puns. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.     The benefit of working at a laptop keyboard factory, extra shifts. I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned out to […]

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Pencil Jokes

I was looking for some stationery this week, and it made me think about topics for a page of puns. We’ve had ruler jokes before, so on a similar theme, here are some pencil jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of either hilarity or originality…     A policeman came up to me […]

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Tie Jokes

Ties

After last week’s shirt jokes, it was suggested that this week’s one liners should take the form of tie jokes, so here are a few.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. […]

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Shirt Jokes

A shirt

This week’s page of one liners takes the theme of shirt jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality.     “I’m not very good at pressing my shirts”, I said with no sense of irony. On eBay; “For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear & tear”. A friend of mine […]

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Password Jokes

Like most people, I’ve had that annoying experience of trying to think of a new password that is complex enough to be secure and memorable enough to be useful, and that seemed as good a topic as any, so here are some password jokes.  Don’t worry, none of them are too cryptic, but don’t expect […]

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Shower Jokes

We’ve had Bath Jokes previously so this week it’s the turn of shower jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…  given the topic, they are of course, all clean jokes, although you might not gel with all of them…   A chap checks into a hotel, and is asked if he wants […]

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Penguin Jokes

Penguins at Taronga Zoo

It was World Penguin Day earlier this week, so Penguin Jokes seems a fitting a topic as ever for this week’s puns. I’m a big fan of penguins, and you can see me feeding some of them here. As normal, these jokes come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…     How do penguins […]

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